Wank Bank Masterclass

2016WANKBAN_GI

Gilded Balloon Teviot (Venue 14)

Aug 16, 18-23, 25-28 (23:45)

Educational

 

****

 

During the Edinburgh Fringe is perhaps one of the only times of the year when it’s perfectly acceptable to have a flier screaming the words Wank Bank across it and not feel at all embarrassed. Although us Brits have become far more open than ever with all things sexual, masturbation is not something we often discuss around the dinner table despite it being one of the few pleasures in life that doesn’t cost us a penny. Wank Bank Masterclass is an educational instruction piece by Rural Ranga (Adam Seymour) that gets rid of all the embarrassment and demonstrates unique techniques for pleasuring a member – solo or hand job – in a friendly environment that, at times, feels strangely like a Ted Talk.

If you’re going to tell a load of guys who have probably been practicing self-abuse quite happily since they first clapped eyes on Flash Gordon (ok, just me then) that they’re doing it incorrectly then you better have some hard fast credentials. The Rural Ranga briefly does this by recounting his back-story as a college masseur who quickly realised that providing happy endings meant more repeat customers. He’s wanked off a lot of men, and claims to have perfected a range of moves that lead to maximum stimulation. This part of the show was actually quite interesting and helped set the friendly tone that would follow throughout the show.   It might even have been quite voyeuristically interesting to hear even more stories about his past clients.

Although not strictly a comedy show, Seymour has an amiable presence and easily finds a few saucy sniggers in the material that, for the most part, is the hand-job master class. The Rural Ranga demonstrates each move on willing volunteers, with careful instructions for which moves are a little bit dangerous for circumcised or uncircumcised men (always handy to remember). There’s even a very generous crib sheet to take home for practice afterwards.

The second part of the class involves trying it out for yourself, and on your neighbour, in what will probably be the weirdest (or only) circle jerk you ever take part in. Don’t worry though – nobody gets their cock out, clothes are kept on, and it’s much more comfortable than it first might sound.

It’s quite hard to judge a show that is so different from anything else on offer at the fringe, but this show really does deliver what it sets out to. As a master class, it taught me so many moves I’d never even thought about and was delivered in a way that was never seedy or smutty, and always had an educational tone. With all the techniques on offer, it’s also likely to be the one show you, or your partner, are going to be grateful you saw for many, many years to come.

David McNeil