What is your new show about?
My new show is called Words. It features various sections which use words, incorrect assumptions, and outright lies in ridiculous ways; and there’s also a story this year in which I play all the parts. Its star is my character Skeleton Johnston, half skeleton, half Mr. Johnston. There are also a few racist OAPs, some terrorists, a couple of non-plussed death victims and some rooks knocking about in it.
How many Fringe shows is that now?
It’s my fifth consecutive Fringe show, but I had been to Edinburgh with shows on and off before that, so roughly my tenth; or ninth if you count accurately.
Are gay shire horses still an issue?
Gay shire horses? What are you talking about! Shire horses are incredibly homophobic, and so what with the decline of shire horses as well, you’d be hard pushed to find a gay one. You couldn’t even look online. Gay shire horses have their own secret language of tail flicks.
Have you had any fresh disturbances of late?
I have fresh disturbances all of the time. The last few have been tennis themed, the disturbances are surprisingly seasonal. To any readers who don’t know what a disturbance is, it’s an abstract thought that occurs within my own mind whilst it is in a disturbed state, such as when I have just hit my head on a cupboard.
Who inspires you?
The world around me, and also parts of the universe that are not near me. My latest show has been conceived in the Andromeda Galaxy, written in Japan, and learnt in a remote cottage in Kent. My only companions here in the countryside are two pheasants called George (they’re both called George), and Vagina the mongoose.
What makes you happy?
I like travelling, especially being up in the air on long-distance flights, whilst sipping wines. I like cruising above the clouds. The world is my oyster (apart from North Korea and Northampton). I like watching the darts, and I like visiting my grandmother Nanna Foot. When people meet me I am always happy ad in a good mood, of course. It is my job to be in a good mood.
Do you think gay people should be allowed to get married?
Yes, gay people should be allowed to do everything that straight people can do, and more. We just need to be wary of the slapstick dangers though, like slipping over on a soft furnishing magazine and straight into an erect penis. I looked into these dangers in a piece of humour called ‘The Incidents’ once, it’s on YouTube.
How does one become a member of the Guild of Paul Foot Connoisseurs?
Oh it’s simple, go onto my websyte and sign up for free, baybayyyy!
What other shows will you see whilst in Edinburgh and why?
Gravity Boots are a fantastic surreal sketch group whom I got to know in Edinburgh last year and liked so much I bribed them to let me direct their latest show, Snakes Pretending To Be Seat-belts. Any connoisseurs of my humour who do not attend their show I shall hunt down and stand next to at a cocktail party, making pterodactyl noises whilst they eat canapés, until it gets really, really awkward.
No board games on this lawn, baybayyy! Face the frozen ships and dance while legless bar stools finally take their revenge. Even Auntie Eclair won’t talk and this town will never recover from the naked collage. Paul has received two consecutive Barry nominations for his shows at the Melbourne Comedy Festival and recent UK TV appearances include 8 Out of 10 Cats, Never Mind the Buzzcocks, Russell Howard’s Good News and The Alternative Comedy Experience.