Review: Accident Avoidance Training for Cutlerly Users level 2 ****

Comedy

Accident Avoidance Training for Cutlerly Users level 2

Quaker Meeting House, v40

20.45 (ends 25 August, not Sundays)

**** (4 stars)

This is a must-see show for anyone with a strong sense of the ridiculous, and all those amongst us who are oblivious to the dangers inherent in the cutlery they use every day with such careless abandon. Lives have been lost in serious cutlery accidents- it’s no laughing matter! – and Ian Crawford is here in Edinburgh to make us aware of the perils we face every day of our lives…

In a clever mixture of PowerPoint presentation and practical sessions we were made aware of the history of cutlery, its prevalence today, and the simple steps we can take to protect ourselves and our loved ones from accidents involving cutlery. Gruesome photographs served to demonstrate to the sceptical the full horrors of the damage done in accidents arising from the incorrect or misguided use of cutlery. Ian gave us a constant stream of memorable aphorisms to help us remember the simple but essential rules, and in the practical session was untiring in his insistence that we learn those steps vital to the maintenance of a safe home environment. He also inadvertently revealed to us a tragedy that lay in his past, which could have been avoided had he known the rules he was now assiduously urging us to adopt…

Towards the end of the evening we had the unexpected pleasure of a short illustrated history of the biscuit from that well-known biscuitomane, Roy Windsor, who gave us much hitherto undiscovered information about Prehistoric Man and the Biscuit, the Biscuit in the Roman Empire, the Biscuit in Shakespeare, Churchill’s Biscuits and even a consideration of the Biscuit Of The Future.

Despite the seriousness of the subjects, the audience was in stitches throughout – as, I am sorry to say, was the presenter at times: tut tut, Mr Crawford! I urge you all not to miss this potentially life-saving encounter and hurry to the Quaker Meeting House, venue 40 to complete your own Accident Avoidance Training – your life, and the lives of those you love may depend on it!!

Mary Woodward